Home Again!

Just got back in today. I have the worse case of jet lag ever. The rest of my trip to NY was full of boring business, no fun stuff. Trent called and stated that he will be coming to Atlanta in two weeks and wants to know if he should stop over in Nashville for a visit. He left a message, I haven't answered him. Kyle and I are going out Sunday night. Sorry to be so short but I'm tired and I must get some rest. I need to walk the dog first. You would think the kennel would have before I picked him up but needless to say they hadn't.

Note to Self: shave on the plane next time......

And on the note of what happened last night, why do you always get lucky when you have not shaved? It’s like an unwritten rule of fate. When you’ve actually made plans and are completely hairless and ready, it’s not going to happen. When your legs are all stubly, this is when you will get laid. It’s guaranteed. It never fails, on dates if I’ve forgotten to shave guess what, tonight will be THE night. I should have just realized when he first walked over to me that of course I would end up shagging him again because my legs weren’t shaved.

Another Trent Encounter

Yesterday I arrived in New York. I came one day early so I could catch up with some of my friends that still live there. My friend Marion picked me up and after some shopping and pedicures we decided to go to a club. We were both at the bar having a drink and reminiscing about old times when out of the corner of my eye I notice Trent. This man is like my Mr. Big. I can’t get over him no matter how hard I try, I still get all fluttery in my stomach when I see him and even though I realize we are both toxic for each other I’m still always drawn to him like a moth to a flame. This game of breaking up and getting back together has gone on for about eight years now between us. We are like this never ending saga. Knowing this about myself I quickly look down, hoping he won’t see me. Marion says I’m being ridiculous, but I insist on a rather obvious attempt at hiding in plain sight. About an hour went by and after a few too many sips of vodka to calm my nerves this transformed into liquid courage in my veins. So I stopped the hiding, held my head high and thought to myself damnit, this time if he sees me I’m going to tell him where to go and that I’m over him. Sure enough he did spot me and walked over to talk to me. Of all the freaking bars in NY and the fact that this is my first trip here in about two years HE just had to be here. He came up looking better than ever, we started chatting and I was trying to play it cool. Now thus far anytime we just happened to have a chance encounter it ended up with A: a fight or B: a shag fest and subsequent semi relationship until we started back at A again. In my head I was thinking no matter what happens realize that you need to just be cool and aloof. And then he stroked my cheek and told me how he missed me. All of my liquid courage then turned to sorrow and a tear rolled down my cheek and I was like “Oh Trent I’ve missed you to” and it was like some movie scene which ended up with us at one of our more dangerous alternatives, option B. We ended up back at his apartment for a very steamy shagfest. It was even more pleasurable perhaps because it’s been awhile. Then lying in bed we talked for hours, which was something we didn’t usually do even back in the day. After he fell asleep I lay there thinking maybe this was it, maybe it was fate that we ran into each other again in this big city, maybe he’s finally ready to tell me he woke up and realized I was the one. Even though I don’t want to get married right now I would drop everything in a heartbeat to be this man’s wife. He just has some hold over me. I finally drifted off to sleep in his arm’s, only to be rudely awakened by the sound of his alarm clock. He got up abruptly to leave for work, gave me an “it was great to see you again, call me when your back in town again” and left. Lock the door when you leave, that was a nice shag luv, you’re like a comfy old sweatshirt I slip back into every now and then when I need it. After laying in bed feeling stupid and sorry for myself I got dressed, hailed a cab, rode to Marion’s, and began crying on her shoulder and apologizing profusely for abandoning her for my addiction. And Marion, being the good friend she is just nodded patiently, and after I gave my probably twentieth “I’ll never do that again” she just said, yes you will dear. Yes I will.

Soulmate

I think we all have a soul mate. I don’t think that we always end up with them though. I believe everyone has a great love that will touch their heart in a way that no one else ever will, and every relationship you ever have from that point forward will always have the shadow of your one great love affair hanging over it. This is not to say that it will ruin it, it’s just the memory of that point in your life will pop up in your head from time to time and linger a bit. Sometimes there are just too many factors that pull you apart from your true love, and it’s not always destiny to be together. That old saying that it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all rings true. The profound affect it has on you to meet a person that you connect with every fiber of your being, the feeling that they are compatible with you in everyway, is well worth it, even if it only last for a short time, the memory of it will last you a lifetime.

Move On!

Don’t stay with anyone that tries to put you down or criticize you in anyway. You deserve better than that. No one ever has the right to try and lower your self esteem or control you. Walk away from anyone who makes you feel lower than them or guilty over your achievements. There are a lot of people out there who are threatened by someone whom they interpret to have a better career, car, home, etc. and will subtlety verbalize critical demeaning remarks. You are fabulous and fun, and right where you need to be at this point in your life. How dare anyone try to tell you otherwise! Life is too short to waste on people who demean you. Move one, find someone better.

Second Date With Kyle

Tonight was a blast. Kyle and I had our second date. We went to an art museum and then had a romantic dinner at J. Alexander’s. It was great. We really click. Our interests are the same pretty much. Our politics may come up eventually, he’s a Republican and I’m a Democrat but it may be just enough to keep it spicy. Neither one of us is overly political. He’s is also a gentlemen, he walked me up to my apartment and gave me a nice peck. We have yet another date planned for next week after I get back from my business trip in New York.